Kelly Gibbons, artist and writer, about me

Thursday, January 22, 2004

"To be always intending to make a new and better life but never to find time to set about it is as...to put off eating and drinking and sleeping from one day to the next until you're dead." ~Og Mandino

Yesterday I got the nicest email from someone who just stopped by my blog. It was short and sweet but it meant the world to me. It said not to give up my dream and that I had talent. Small gestures of kindness can mean so much.

This person also spoke of having a dream, but right now just can't pursue it for financial reasons. I understand that I really do, but I also believe that if you have a burning desire to do something, you must. By not pursuing that dream, you are not only short changing yourself, but the world. When you are happy and doing what you love and need to do everyone around you benefits.

I can say this from first hand experience. Last July when I decided to become a writer I really had no idea what I was going to do. My plan was to continue working at my full time job and write and take classes when I could.

It still amazes me what happens when you begin to take those small steps. One thing leads to another and then that makes something else happen. Two months after I decided to become a writer I quit my job. I had no idea how I was going to survive this way, but everything inside me said to do it.

I haven't received a windfall of money and things are sometimes tight, but what amazes me is that with a few adjustments and some lucky breaks, everything is working out just fine. It seems when I need the money something happens and I get: I get an extra job, a story I'd given up on gets published, or my husband gets an unexpected bonus. Each time I was ready to give up, something comes up and lets me keep pursuing my dream.

I am also putting in an effort. I work hard and don't get paid a lot, but to me it is worth it because I am doing exactly what I want and I am happy. My family is also happier because of that. They are starting to think I have an addiction to the computer, but other than that, everything is great.

I am not alone either. So many people have realized the same thing. There is Alex Beauchamp (Girl at Play), whose chronicles made me realize that I could do this too, and Katrina the feisty scribe who was a teacher and Toni who was a lawyer but had a dream to do something different and are now doing it. There is a world full of others. We all have fears, doubts and struggles but something inside tells us this is what we have to do, and for whatever reason we listened. I can not speak for anyone else but reading there web journals makes me feel that they would agree with me. Not going after your dream would be the worst thing you could do.

The sad part in this whole thing is that I could have been doing this years ago and didn't. I kept saying I wanted to be a writer, but I didn't do anything about it. I refuse to look at that time as wasted though. I choose to see everything up until now as a learning experience. I am so grateful though for all the things that finally pushed me to do this. Taking that leap into the unknown was one of the most frightening things I have ever done but I am so happy and relieved that I did it. I won't ever have to say, "What if?"

I have heard too many people say that or complain about what they are doing but don't do anything about it. I was one of those people for too long and I refuse to go back there.

I'm still learning (and making mistakes) everyday and there are many more things that I wish I could have. Instead of just wishing for them, I take small steps to get them. For instance, I created a homepage with free space from my ISP. I really want my own web site, with fancy graphics and a catchy logo, but that is not an option right now. So, for now this blog and that site will do, and I will put money aside when I can for a new site. Eventually I will get it. I work on all my wishes a little at a time. Some will happen sooner than others, but I have a funny feeling that if I keep working at it, all my dreams will come true.

So to all you dreamers out there, I say do something about it. You won't regret it. And to quote a very wise soul (my thirteen year old daughter, Kelci who said this at 10): "Don't be a big talker and little doer, be a big doer and a little talker." Ok, sue me Kelc, I am trying to be both!

posted by Kelly @ 1/22/2004 08:29:00 AM

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