Kelly Gibbons, artist and writer, about me

Friday, February 27, 2004

It's been twenty years since I've graduated high school and you know what that means. It's reunion time. Time to see what everyone has been up to, what they are doing now, how much have they changed. Are they married, do they have children? Are they doing what you thought they would be?

My first reaction to a reunion is excitement. I want to go. It's exciting seeing people you haven't seen in a long time and reconnecting. That initial excitement doesn't last long. Dread sets in fast.

I don't want to go to my reunion. I don't need to see people that I haven't seen in twenty years. Apparently they don't want to see me either. I have lived in the same house for 16 years and it is on the same street I grew up on and in twenty years very few people have come knocking at the door to see how or what I'm doing. I'm very easy to find, yet people don't find me.

I don't want to go because I need to lose weight. If I go I want to be perfect.

I don't want to go because I am not where I thought I'd be. I am a struggling writer and wanna be artist. I am happy, but I'm tired of explaining to people that "no, I'm not making a lot of money doing this, yet!"

I don't want to go because I don't have much to say. I have lived in the same town my whole life, on the same street, three houses down from where I grew up. I really don't feel like hearing about the wonderful places everyone else has lived in and about all the amazing things that they have done for twenty years.

I don't want to go to my reunion because thinking about going makes me feel like this. It makes me feel like I'm not successful and that I haven't accomplished much. It makes me forget what I have done and what I am doing.

I'm not going to that reunion.

If I do go, I have a wonderful husband to escort me and the three most wonderful children to brag about.

If I do go people will be amazed at how much I've changed--the hair's not purple anymore.

If I do go I can say I'm a writer and an illustrator, and by the way, I will have my illustrations published in a book this year.

If I do go I can say I don't have a big house or a new car or a huge bank account, but I do have a wonderful life. I can tell people that I decided to stop chasing the all American dream and I decided to start chasing mine. I can tell them that I am living my dream and we can talk at the 50th and compare "What ifs." I don't plan on having any.

I guess I might go to that reunion. It might be fun.

posted by Kelly @ 2/27/2004 07:01:00 AM

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