Kelly Gibbons, artist and writer, about me

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. ~Buddha The "Enlightened One"

Live in the present. This is such a hard thing to do. I spend too much of my time worrying about what I did or didn't do and what I'm going to do next. It has a way of interfering with my present happiness.

I know it is the way I should live, but doing it is more difficult that you think.

I can go out for a walk and take my time and look at the most amazing things. I can be in the present, but as soon as I walk back in the door I'm hit with the Past and the Future are waiting for me. There two favorite things to do are argue with each other and fight with me.

The past says, "Why were you out there wasting time? You should have been writing, reading, or trying to find places to submit your work."

And the future adds, "No you should have been thinking about the bills that are coming and your career and the emails that might come and planning for tomorrow. I need you to be constantly thinking ahead. While you were out looking for flowers you could have been planning your life. What are you going to do next? Now get busy."

Trying to defend myself, I say, "But I was having fun. I was enjoying myself. I wasn't thinking about what I should be doing or what I need to be doing. I was trying to relax and take care of myself."

To this future replies, "You can take care of yourself later, when you have money to take care of yourself. You need to be worrying about how you are going to take care of me."

Then Past spoke up, "No you need to worry about what you didn't do with me. While you were out walking I was wasting away."

The Past and the Future both want my attention all the time. They don't want me to enjoy the moment. They are constantly fighting who needs me more. They are like children that don't understand I love them both equally, but differently.

I love the Past for all that it has given me. It has given me such magical memories. I wish the Past could understand that I remember everything and hold it in my heart, but I don't need to dwell on the bad things. Past has made me who I am. I wish he could see that and let me enjoy myself now.

I love the Future for all that it has to offer. It is my dream come true. It is who I will become. I will be that person no matter what. I don't have to worry about how or when I will become that person. It will happen no matter what I do. I wish Future would let me happen instead of making me plan and worry what will happen. I wish Future could understand that being happy now will make me happy then.

I wish both of them could understand that I need them both so much. That they are what makes my present so wonderful. I wish they would stop fighting with me and with each other and just let me be me.

posted by Kelly @ 3/02/2004 08:33:00 AM

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