Kelly Gibbons, artist and writer, about me

Monday, April 05, 2004

When you see a teen mother what is your first reaction? Teen mom's are often judged harshly before you even give them a chance. Why? Because they are young and got pregnant. Well they must be stupid right, or easy? And they can't possibly be good parents right?

How wrong this is. I know, I was a teen mother. I was 19 when I had my first child. Yes, I was out of High School, I was an adult, but technically I was still a teenager.

I worked as a sales clerk and one day a woman was at the counter and a young pregnant girl came in. I'm guessing the girl was 17 or 18 years old. The woman's reaction was typical, "What a shame someone that young is having a baby."

She wondered how anyone that young could possibly be a good parent. How would they support the child? Her guess was welfare. I sat there and listened as she went on about it, she never once mentioned that there was a possibility a teenager might make a good mom. I let her go on for awhile and then I said, "That doesn't happen all the time. You don't know the situation."

Her reply, "You're right, but people like that almost always end up on welfare, and its not fair to the kids."

That's when I told her I had my first child at age 19. Her face dropped and all she could do was stare at me. She knew me, she knew my kids and she had never known I was "one of those people". She mumbled something like, "Well, you're lucky, your an exception," and quickly left.

I am not saying that my way is the best way. I made the best of the situation. I was very happy to be pregnant. Yes, I was lucky. I was out of High School and I was getting married. Mine was a better situation than most. But it is never someone else's place to judge another person's situation. There are problems with parenting no matter what age you have children. This is life and this is the way it happened. Without knowing the situation it is not wise to judge.

Yes, financially we have struggled at times, but is this solely because I had a baby when I was 19? I know a lot of people who had children much later than me and still struggle. I like that I had my children young (I had my twins a week after my 23rd birthday). It has worked for me.

Another woman who can bust the teen mother stereotype to pieces is Angela Giles Klocke. She was a teen mother but that didn't stop her from being a great parent. It also inspired her to give back. She is the founder of One Young Parent, a website for teen parents (mom's or dad's) and their families and friends. As Angela puts it, "a helping hand up not out," and the site is about empowering teen parents not condemning them.

A few weeks ago Angela was planning a face lift for the site, and asked me to if I would be interested in designing a logo. I was thrilled and honored that she would ask. Thank you for believing in me Angela!

posted by Kelly @ 4/05/2004 07:32:00 AM

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