Kelly Gibbons, artist and writer, about me

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

I got my copies of the book yesterday. I was like a little kid at Christmas opening that package. Even though I knew what the pictures looked like and I knew the stories (because I was lucky enough to get to read the manuscript before everyone else), I was still excited to see them in an actual book. It was incredible exciting to see my name on the cover and to see my illustrations with the essays. And as much as I hate having my picture taken, I was really happy to see it in the book. I even liked it.

I sat looking at that book for quite awhile last night. It is now sitting on my new bookshelves (built by my incredibly talented husband). I did not put any other books in these cases yet. I wanted this book to be the first. Now I can't wait to fill it with more books that I have written and illustrated.

After looking at the book for awhile, I started to criticize my work. I started to find all the mistakes and things I could have done better. At a time I should have been celebrating, I started to pick myself and my art apart. But, then another wonderful thing happened that proved to me that I am growing as an artist.

I suddenly realized that, yes, I could do better now because I have better equipment and more experience , but that should not take away from what I did. When I drew those pictures I was proud of my work and I did the best I could at that time. I also started to remember all the nice compliments I have received and so many of the things I have been learning started to come back to me. Don't judge the work, just do it. The more you write (or paint) the better you get. Practice makes perfect. So many quotes and things I've heard and learned came back to me. In that moment I realized that I am starting to change. That I am an artist and I am worthy. I do deserve to be here. And that my work will change, grow and improve as I continue to learn. That doesn't mean the first work isn't good.

Anyone who wants this can have it. I am living proof. A year ago I could not even imagine that something like this could happen to me. A year ago I wasn't drawing or writing (except in a journal). Once I took steps toward my dreams, things just started happening and falling in to place. Has it always been easy? Of course not. But it is possible, you just have to try. For years I talked about wanting to be a writer and an artist, but I didn't do a thing about it. As soon as I took real steps toward it things changed.

Most of the time we don't see the changes within ourselves as easily as we see them in others. It is a nice feeling to know that I am getting to know myself and becoming comfortable enough with this new me to see changes.

It is also a great feeling to believe in myself. It took me a very long time to see that I had to believe do this before anyone else could.

posted by Kelly @ 5/05/2004 08:29:00 AM

0 Comments: